


Baby Got Back

by QuokkaFoxtrot



Series: Dead Letter Chorus [8]
Category: Pacific Rim (2013)
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Butts, Chuck wants you to shut up Newt oh my god stop talking, Fluff, Hermann is a giant manchild, Hermann is a sartorial trainwreck, M/M, Newt experiences some personal growth, Newt is charmed, not at all valentines related
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-14
Updated: 2014-02-14
Packaged: 2018-01-12 10:22:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,347
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1185140
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QuokkaFoxtrot/pseuds/QuokkaFoxtrot
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Essentially:<br/>"That's not how you do the thing, Hermann."<br/>"It's how <em>I</em> do the thing."</p><p>See also: butts.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Baby Got Back

**Author's Note:**

> Set after [Every Trouble You Found](http://archiveofourown.org/works/1117913) and before [Come Home With Me](http://archiveofourown.org/works/1121988). 
> 
> Beta by Antheia. Mistakes by Me.
> 
> Title from Sir Mix-A-Lot's 'Baby Got Back' off _Mack Daddy_. (In which I continue to suck at titling. *bows*)
> 
> Posting and Chronological orders for Dead Letter Chorus available in the notes [here](http://archiveofourown.org/series/66677).

**Mid-October**  
 _Saturday, 1:30pm_

Hermann entered Kaiju Blue and hung his overcoat on the coat stand before moving over to his booth to set his notebook on the table and look at his reserved sign. He smirked at the drawing of a little red heart and turned to walk to the counter.

"Hey, Hermann," Newt greeted cheerfully as Hermann walked over. "I haven't seen that sweater bef-" Newt cut himself off and stared at Hermann's middle. "Chuck, take over. Hermann, out back. Now." Newt dragged his eyes away and hurried around the counter, fumbling with his keys to open the back door as Hermann followed him with a frown.

"Is there a problem, Newton?" Hermann asked in confusion as Newt ushered him through the door and closed it loudly behind them. "Newton? You're beginning to worry me."

Newt stopped Hermann and reached out to pull his blazer open, continuing to stare at his middle. "You've tucked your sweater into your pants."

"What?!" Hermann gasped mortified, looking down to check as his hand scrabbled to cover them up. He stared and frowned, before glaring up at Newt. "No, I haven't. What are you playing at, Newton?"

"Dude. It's right there. You've tucked your sweater into your pants." Newt continued to stare, eyebrows raised and a bemused grin on his lips.

"This isn't amusing. It's over my pants and under my trousers. Have you finished having your fun?" Hermann asked with a disparaging twist of his lips.

"Fine, _fine_. You've tucked your sweater into your _trousers_ ," Newt said with a roll of his eyes, looking up to poke his tongue out at Hermann.

"What of it? There was a draft. It's important to keep the core warm as the temperature drops," Hermann said with a sniff, straightening up to look down at Newt imperiously.

"Oh my god, did you do it all the way around?" Newt dropped the blazer and slid his hands around the waistline of Hermann's trousers to the back. "You did it all the way around." Newt grinned up at Hermann as he wrapped his arms around him and squeezed him tight. "You adorable man-child." 

"I don't understand what the problem is. I am not a _man-child_." Hermann frowned at Newt's sudden change in demeanour and placed a hand tentatively on Newt's shoulders.

"No fully grown man tucks his sweater into his _trousers_ , Hermann. It just looks silly," Newt said with fond exasperation.

"You know I don't particularly care much for what other people think of me," Hermann said rolling his eyes skyward. "And the only person whose opinion I _do_ value just said it was, and I quote, _adorable_." Hermann leaned his cane against the nearest wall and slid his arms up until his forearms rested on Newt's shoulders, linking his hands behind his neck. "Don't go expecting it to change."

"You're a dork," Newt said, stretching up to give Hermann a kiss on the nose. "A giant, massive, mega, super, enormous, gigantic, colossal, ginormous, epic _dork_." Newt kissed him properly, grinning against his lips. "My dork."

"Well, as long as I'm _your_ dork, I suppose it's fine," Hermann said with an indulgent smile. 

"How am I supposed to sneakily touch you when you've got all these layers on?" Newt asked, frowning down at Hermann's middle as he wiggled his hands into the back of Hermann's trousers, trying to find the end of the sweater. "I mean, really, why don't you just wrap yourself up in duct tape?"

"Is that a surefire way to stop your wandering hands?" Hermann arched a brow.

"Pfft, like you want me to stop touching you," Newt said, giving up on getting under the sweater and grabbing a handful of Hermann's ass and pulling their hips together. "You know, I've always wanted to drag you out here and blow you one day..." Newt raised an eyebrow suggestively.

"Maybe you'll get your wish..." Hermann leaned down to kiss Newt softly. "When the temperature is not hovering just above freezing," Hermann said with a pointed stare.

"Ugh. You spoil all my fun," Newt said with a pout.

"Nothing brings me greater joy than putting the kibosh on your devious plans to pleasure me," Hermann said sarcastically, giving Newt a deeply unimpressed look and shaking his head.

Newt pulled a face at Hermann before leaning in to kiss him again. "You coming over tonight?" He asked as he pulled back.

"Do you want me to?"

"That is the stupidest question I've ever heard and I worked in academia for fifteen years," Newt said trying to smack Hermann lightly on the ass and finding himself inhibited by the waistband over his wrists.

"A simple 'yes' would have sufficed." Hermann pursed his lips.

"No it wouldn't," Newt said giving Hermann's ass a squeeze. "You need to know that, for a smart guy, you say some really stupid things. Luckily, you've got me to teach you."

"I don't know that that's the word I'd use," Hermann said, raising an eyebrow dubiously.

"We just established that you're bad at words, Hermann. And, let me tell you, you are very, very, _very_ lucky." Newt emphasised each 'very' with a kiss, grinning as Hermann chased his lips until he gave in and let himself be kissed - though, to be fair, he did kiss back with quite a lot of enthusiasm. "Mmm, I should get back." Newt pulled away, resting his forehead on Hermann's cheek. "Kind of abandoned Chuck out there."

"You'll need to remove your hands from my trousers," Hermann said, taking a step back to emphasise his point and shaking his head when Newt just took a step closer and pressed up against him with a smirk.

"Figured I'd just leave them there. Serve people around you, ring up their orders with my elbow while bending you backwards over the counter." Newt grins and kisses Hermann's jaw.

"On the one hand, that would likely be very uncomfortable - for both of us - and on the other hand, it would probably constitute multiple health code violations. So, no, I don't believe that will be happening." Hermann kissed Newt on the nose, smirking as Newt pouted dramatically, and reached for his cane. "Come now, I've got a lot of work to get done this afternoon. As do you."

" _Fiiiine_ ," Newt said in a long drawn out tone, wiggling his hands until they popped free.

"Wash your hands before you go back," Hermann chastised and reared back as Newt shook them obnoxiously in his face. "Really, Newton? Why do I put up with you?"

"Because the other night I sucked your brain out through your dick and then let you cuddle the hell out of me?" Newt said with a cheeky grin. "Maybe some other reasons, but the dick sucking is probably pretty high on the list."

Hermann shook his head and stepped closer to Newt, taking Newt's chin between his thumb and the curve of his index finger and tilting Newt's head up and kiss him softly. "Many things rank higher than your skill with fellatio."

"Sweettalker." Newt said and kissed him back before stepping away. "Okay, I gotta work. You gotta work. There is work to be done that doesn't involve making out with my hot, silver-tongued boyfriend in the back room." Newt walked over to the door and pulled it open, holding it ajar and gesturing for Hermann to go through.

Hermann shook his head and walked through, murmuring a low "Wash your hands, I know where they've been." as he passed.

"Play your cards right and they might go back there. _Tonight_." Newt smacked Hermann on the ass and snickered as Hermann jumped slightly before closing the door and heading back behind the counter.

"Everything cool?" Chuck asks as Newt leaned on the counter beside the register, looking over at Hermann settling in to his booth and shaking his head.

"My boyfriend's a giant dork," he said with a soft laugh.

"You're only just catching on to that?" Chuck asked with a smirk.

"Hey, only I'm allowed to call my boyfriend a giant dork, _little dude_ ," Newt said with a meaningful quirk of his brow.

"Pfft, I could squash you." Chuck snorted, pulling out a teabag and making up Hermann's order even though he hadn't been asked yet.

"I'd like to see you try. I'd take out your knees and run away. Leave you crying on the floor 'Ow, ow, my knees! My knees! Help! I've been defeated by smarts and stealth! Curse my ridiculous height and classically attractive features!'" Newt leans dramatically back against the counter, holding the back of his hand up to his forehead and clutching at his chest.

"Yeah, sure. That's how it'd go." Chuck rolled his eyes and set the tea down on the counter in front of Newt. "Your man's doing something weird," he said and nudged Newt, looking over at Hermann's booth in confusion. 

Newt followed his line of sight and saw Hermann trying to get his attention and then rubbing his hands together with a pointed look. Newt mimed the same thing back obnoxiously and finished with a flourish towards the sink.

"What was that all about?" Chuck asked, side-eying Newt with suspicion.

"He wants me to wash my hands." Newt walked over to the sink and squirted a few pumps of liquid soap onto his hands, lathering them up past his wrists and holding them up so Hermann could see. Hermann narrowed his eyes, before shaking his head, flipping open his notebook and pointedly ignoring him.

"Do I even want to know what you did?"

"I touched his butt," Newt said with a shrug, turning the water on and washing the soap off. He turned back to see Chuck making a horrified face and put his hands up in a calming gesture. "Over the clothes. _Over_ the clothes." He paused and frowned. "Technically there was some under, but I didn't touch skin."

"What? No, stop talking. I don't want to hear it." Chuck turned away, devoting the entirety of his attention to wiping down the espresso machine.

"He tucks his sweater into his pants. I wanted to see how far down it went." Newt shrugged and then leaned in close to Chuck's ear. "It goes _all the way_."

Chuck stopped wiping, looked straight ahead and let out a put upon sigh. "Get the tea, take it over to your daggy boyfriend, and then don't speak to me for a week. Or ever again. Just... stop speaking."

"Hey, I will defend that giant man-child to _the pain_. Also, not going to stop speaking because, ha! I'm your boss." Newt stuck out his tongue and turned to pick up the tea.

"I own a quarter of this place. I call veto on that," Chuck said, raising an eyebrow.

"You can't veto me talking; I call shenanigans on _that_."

"Pretty sure I can veto you talking about Hermann's arse; Mako will back me up on this one,"

"I'd let you talk about Mako's butt." Newt shrugged, looking up at Chuck blankly.

"Tea. Now. Go." Chuck pointed emphatically at Hermann's table, shaking his head emphatically when Newt opens his mouth.

Newt pulled a face, picked up the cup of tea and trudged over to Hermann's table, setting it down before sliding in beside him. "Nobody wants to listen to me talk about your butt."

Hermann stiffened, straightened, and turned to look over at Chuck in mortification. Chuck held his hands up, shook his head, and walked away.

"Oh, relax. I just said I touched it. _Over_ the clothes." Newt patted Hermann's knee reassuringly under the table.

"I hope you're not talking about our private affairs in public," Hermann said with a frown.

"He wanted to know why you wanted me to wash my hands. It's no big," Newt peered over Hermann's arm to see what he was working on and then settled back to glance around the cafe and see if anything needed doing urgently.

"You wouldn't, would you?" Hermann asked, suddenly wary of what Newt thought was appropriate conversation.

" _No_." Newt said, turning an incredulous look on Hermann. "I don't want anybody but _me_ to know about the sound you make when you c-"

" _That's enough, Newton_ ," Hermann hissed, grabbing Newt's arm and squeezing his wrist tightly.

"Hey, what?" Newt yelped, trying to pull his hand back. "Oh, shit. Too far?"

"I would prefer that our private activities do not become... _water-cooler gossip_ for your patrons," Hermann ground out as Newt patted his hand placatingly.

"This really bothers you, doesn't it?" Newt said, peering up at Hermann with dawning awareness. "I'm sorry. I didn't think it- I wasn't trying to- I was just-" Newt cuts himself off and takes a breath, giving his brain time to formulate a single sentence. "I thought we were just having fun. I'll only talk about your butt with you, okay?"

"You may wax rhapsodic about my posterior all you like - _in private_ ," Hermann said in a low tone and released his grip. He turned his attention back to his notebook and adjusted his glasses purposefully, indicating the end of the conversation.

Newt rubbed Hermann's knee under the table and leaned in close, dropping his voice to a level only Hermann would hear. "I'm gonna wax rhapsodic _all over_ your posterior tonight."

" _Newton_ ," Hermann said in exasperation, but Newt could see the tips of his ears turning red and colour high in his cheeks.

"Okay, okay, I'm going back to work. Kiss to tide me over 'til closing?"

Hermann glanced over at him and Newt tried to sweeten the deal by pouting. Hermann looked skyward for a moment, shook his head, and then leaned over to press a quick pecks to his lips. 

Newt grinned and slid out of the booth. Making his way back to the counter, he picked up a few mugs and greeted some people who had come in a few times but were not yet regulars, and then sidled up beside Chuck as he put the things on the sink. "Butt," he said quietly and smirked as Chuck fumbled a saucer.

"Damnit, Newt!"


End file.
